Dear various political groups,
I'd like to take a moment to address you all.
Dear Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnel, Bill O'Reilly, etc: Please stop making me look bad. Please, please stop talking so that I don't have to cringe every time I defend capitalism or advocate cutting/eliminating government programs. I say that I oppose universal health care and before I can start explaining why, people already assume that I hate gay people, oppose abortion, and believe the cure for America's woes is forcing Christianity down the throat of America--"just like our founding fathers wanted". Please stop making me look bad. And please stop exploiting your family, Ms. Palin, because I want to yack every time I see reference to you or any of your spawn.
Dear liberals: Please stop associating me with the above idiots. Believe me, I hate them too, and I understand that they are so irrational, so laughably pathetic, that you don't even want to bother discussing politics with anyone who shares anything with them. I'm not asking you to agree with me or anything. But can't we have a reasoned discussion anymore? If we can't have a good old-fashioned debate on fiscal responsibility and government programs with both sides using logic and political theory instead of just sound bites and funny names for each other, the Palins win. And neither of us wants that.
Dear conservatives: Please stop assuming that, because I support gay rights, I'm a communist. Seriously, what is that about? Also, please stop advocating economic irresponsibility. I want to cut taxes as much as the next guy, but you guys want to cut taxes and expand programs, which is the stupidest idea in the history of ever. At this point, I respect democrats so much more than you guys because at least they have a consistent policy. At least they understand that it's necessary to pay for things, even if I totally disagree with what they're spending money on. Remember the 90s? Remember fiscal responsibility? Can you at least pretend to be that party again?
Thank you for listening, various political groups. If we all pull together and do our part...oh, who am I kidding. I'm off to watch a 24-hour news network and cheer for my party as though they were a football team.
Sincerely,
-Laura K Jedeed
I'd like to take a moment to address you all.
Dear Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnel, Bill O'Reilly, etc: Please stop making me look bad. Please, please stop talking so that I don't have to cringe every time I defend capitalism or advocate cutting/eliminating government programs. I say that I oppose universal health care and before I can start explaining why, people already assume that I hate gay people, oppose abortion, and believe the cure for America's woes is forcing Christianity down the throat of America--"just like our founding fathers wanted". Please stop making me look bad. And please stop exploiting your family, Ms. Palin, because I want to yack every time I see reference to you or any of your spawn.
Dear liberals: Please stop associating me with the above idiots. Believe me, I hate them too, and I understand that they are so irrational, so laughably pathetic, that you don't even want to bother discussing politics with anyone who shares anything with them. I'm not asking you to agree with me or anything. But can't we have a reasoned discussion anymore? If we can't have a good old-fashioned debate on fiscal responsibility and government programs with both sides using logic and political theory instead of just sound bites and funny names for each other, the Palins win. And neither of us wants that.
Dear conservatives: Please stop assuming that, because I support gay rights, I'm a communist. Seriously, what is that about? Also, please stop advocating economic irresponsibility. I want to cut taxes as much as the next guy, but you guys want to cut taxes and expand programs, which is the stupidest idea in the history of ever. At this point, I respect democrats so much more than you guys because at least they have a consistent policy. At least they understand that it's necessary to pay for things, even if I totally disagree with what they're spending money on. Remember the 90s? Remember fiscal responsibility? Can you at least pretend to be that party again?
Thank you for listening, various political groups. If we all pull together and do our part...oh, who am I kidding. I'm off to watch a 24-hour news network and cheer for my party as though they were a football team.
Sincerely,
-Laura K Jedeed
